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+--- Thread: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' (/showthread.php?tid=3393)
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My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - quintessentone - 02-22-2026
Don't hold back.
Life is short.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Who are you, really?
Nevermind, I expected nobody to get it.
Tell me fantasies aren't real.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Freija - 02-22-2026
(02-22-2026, 02:36 AM)quintessentone Wrote: Nevermind, I expected nobody to get it.
Care to elaborate?
Perhaps not grasping your point or referencing whatever it is you're talking about, I'll throw in a response anyway.
Well being and happiness or in other words how you feel about your life dependent on other's engagement will always be temporary with the key being these things need to come from within rather than externally.
Life is short. Too short to not say what you mean or not be the real you in the meaningless pursuit of gaining the validation, acceptance and favor of others to make you feel whole or as measurement of your well being.
Authenticity and directness can be perceived as a challenge by those not accustomed to people behaving that way and it may come across as arrogance, rudeness or something unintended. I think it's basic human nature to want other's to like you or feel connection and be part of a group and this desire often tempers or inhibits true expression.
I recognize doing this in my own behavior at times but truly know who I really am, maybe more so than a lot of folks because I had to confront my differences early in life and in some situations, feel discretion is the better part of valor and I'll play the game like everyone else but for the most part, as those that know me will attest, I usually speak my mind without reservation. The thing is though, I really don't need anyone else to define my well being or self worth but at the same time don't want to be an asshole either but inevitably, I will piss some people off anyway. Being too real can make some people uncomfortable.
At the end of the day when it's just me, myself and I knowing what we know, we get along pretty well with ourself without anyone else's help defining us. I would not have made if very far in life without relying me, not others, to get me to this ripe old age and into the future whatever that may be.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - EndtheMadnessNow - 02-22-2026
I'm still rockin to that fantasy.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Freija - 02-22-2026
Here I thought this was the beginning of some deep psychological back and forth discussion and dove in with both feet.
Silly me. I shouldn't have been so quick on the trigger and apparently missed the point entirely. Oopsie!
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - babushka - 02-23-2026
(02-22-2026, 04:23 AM)Freija Wrote: Well being and happiness or in other words how you feel about your life dependent on other's engagement will always be temporary with the key being these things need to come from within rather than externally.
Life is short. Too short to not say what you mean or not be the real you in the meaningless pursuit of gaining the validation, acceptance and favor of others to make you feel whole or as measurement of your well being.
That depends on if the environment is hostile. If you perceive the environment as hostile then conformity is survival. We can have a long debate on perception. We can also recognize that war and terrorism exists, organized crime is at next levels. It depends on where you live. Environment.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - putnam6 - 02-24-2026
(02-22-2026, 05:30 AM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: I'm still rockin to that fantasy.
Damn, talk about an MTV gem...swimming in the nostalgia.
Knew that was Aldo white hot for 2-3 years...
Newsflash for me
Getting old sucks...
and Im ill prepared for it, my 60s aren't starting as imagined they would in my 40s.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Chiefsmom - 02-24-2026
As I get older, it's easier to say what I mean, mean what I say.
It's just nice here, that people know how to do that, and yet still be polite. For the most part.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Freija - 02-25-2026
(02-23-2026, 08:38 AM)babushka Wrote: That depends on if the environment is hostile. If you perceive the environment as hostile then conformity is survival. We can have a long debate on perception. We can also recognize that war and terrorism exists, organized crime is at next levels. It depends on where you live. Environment.
I don't disagree with this at all. After a childhood of troublesome rebellion and tumultuous non-conformance, outward conformity as a young adult in some respects has been the key to my survival from the time I was a teenager. Expression and acknowledgment of my non-conformity was reserved to the more accepting sub-cultures I was peripherally involved with in the time of my younger years to not feel so alone and something I still moderately pay attention to today from afar as on observer.
At some point conformity became closer to normalcy helped by my desire to be a positive and stable influence as a parent at 19 while never really abandoning my internalized invisible spirit as a renegade and societal outlaw. It wasn't really until about 2015 at 60 that I began to more or less reconnect with my roots in anonymous online spaces that I even spoke of my past thanks to meeting a kindred spirit that encouraged me to speak up even in less than friendly and accepting places. It was basically around that time I “came out” at ATS back when it was only half a shitshow. For me this was a bit of an awakening and reconciliation of who I am and what I have been through.
I’m pretty private when it comes to real life and don’t bring these things up (conformity) but I have shared my story with the folks here too but in this ever increasing age of political hostility and widespread negative oppressive legislative action, I have recently become much less forthcoming hoping to fly under the radar for the rest of my life, a feat that is looking less likely as time goes on and large datasets interconnect. However, should the witch hunt come to my door, I won’t hesitate to stand up publicly and use my voice even if it appears pointless against a hopeless situation.
Sometimes the baggage your carry sucks, sometimes it is your strength.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - babushka - 02-25-2026
(02-25-2026, 01:16 AM)Freija Wrote: I don't disagree with this at all. After a childhood of troublesome rebellion and tumultuous non-conformance, outward conformity as a young adult in some respects has been the key to my survival from the time I was a teenager. Expression and acknowledgment of my non-conformity was reserved to the more accepting sub-cultures I was peripherally involved with in the time of my younger years to not feel so alone and something I still moderately pay attention to today from afar as on observer.
At some point conformity became closer to normalcy helped by my desire to be a positive and stable influence as a parent at 19 while never really abandoning my internalized invisible spirit as a renegade and societal outlaw. It wasn't really until about 2015 at 60 that I began to more or less reconnect with my roots in anonymous online spaces that I even spoke of my past thanks to meeting a kindred spirit that encouraged me to speak up even in less than friendly and accepting places. It was basically around that time I “came out” at ATS back when it was only half a shitshow. For me this was a bit of an awakening and reconciliation of who I am and what I have been through.
I’m pretty private when it comes to real life and don’t bring these things up (conformity) but I have shared my story with the folks here too but in this ever increasing age of political hostility and widespread negative oppressive legislative action, I have recently become much less forthcoming hoping to fly under the radar for the rest of my life, a feat that is looking less likely as time goes on and large datasets interconnect. However, should the witch hunt come to my door, I won’t hesitate to stand up publicly and use my voice even if it appears pointless against a hopeless situation.
Sometimes the baggage your carry sucks, sometimes it is your strength.
wow, that's some deep stuff. I'm super intrigued now.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - quintessentone - 02-26-2026
(02-22-2026, 04:23 AM)Freija Wrote:(02-22-2026, 02:36 AM)quintessentone Wrote: Nevermind, I expected nobody to get it.
Care to elaborate?
Perhaps not grasping your point or referencing whatever it is you're talking about, I'll throw in a response anyway.
Well being and happiness or in other words how you feel about your life dependent on other's engagement will always be temporary with the key being these things need to come from within rather than externally.
Life is short. Too short to not say what you mean or not be the real you in the meaningless pursuit of gaining the validation, acceptance and favor of others to make you feel whole or as measurement of your well being.
Authenticity and directness can be perceived as a challenge by those not accustomed to people behaving that way and it may come across as arrogance, rudeness or something unintended. I think it's basic human nature to want other's to like you or feel connection and be part of a group and this desire often tempers or inhibits true expression.
I recognize doing this in my own behavior at times but truly know who I really am, maybe more so than a lot of folks because I had to confront my differences early in life and in some situations, feel discretion is the better part of valor and I'll play the game like everyone else but for the most part, as those that know me will attest, I usually speak my mind without reservation. The thing is though, I really don't need anyone else to define my well being or self worth but at the same time don't want to be an asshole either but inevitably, I will piss some people off anyway. Being too real can make some people uncomfortable.
At the end of the day when it's just me, myself and I knowing what we know, we get along pretty well with ourself without anyone else's help defining us. I would not have made if very far in life without relying me, not others, to get me to this ripe old age and into the future whatever that may be.
What I was really trying to get at was that within this forum community my well being or willingness to stay and engage and your engagement of 'it all' means to do just what everyone seems to be doing here on this thread...go with it, engage with it by being yourself and rely on each other to try to understand, discuss and have a little fun too here on RN.
Sometimes I wonder if reality is a fantasy and it looks like some here may also be wondering that too. Just one part of 'it all' that I had in my mind at the time of posting this thread.
If I worried about how others would take my directness I'd never speak up or venture out to forums like this to engage in wonderful discussions. Everyone reacts differently or the same, depends on perhaps the person and/or the delivery of the sentiment or opinion or thought.
So it's obvious we all choose to engage here, but the well being of all of us depends on not jumping to immediate judgements or first impressions because nobody here can really know someone or what they are going through in life that may make them act a certain way or have a bad day.
This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
Sometimes I will post one sentence concise thoughts which in my mind seems quite straight forward, but sometimes it is not. See how the fantasy sentence response varied?
So thanks for prodding deeper, thanks for wanting to understand, I appreciate the effort.
So yes this thread was a deeper dive into this forum member's engagement and intention with myself and each other, but also frivolous in wondering and/or putting it out there that sometimes reality seems like fantasy to me, and vice versa.
Thanks to everyone for the inquisitive and friendly engagement because right now some of my family members are going through rough times which is really bringing me down. So if I semi-drunk post, please be kind.
"We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality. We create it to be able to stay.” – Lynda Barry"
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Ninurta - 02-26-2026
My well-being depends solely on rum. Well, a couple of daily chemicals to keep my heart ticking along in 3/4 time and to keep me from stroking out, but mostly it depends on the rum.
What you say here is absolutely true:
Quote:This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
People don't realize on how much true communication depends upon "body language" - stance, relaxation or tension, facial expression and more - all of it adds to and enriches communication. It gives nuances of meaning to the mere spoken word... and it is precisely what is missing from written, online communications. Without those ancillary indicators enriching the written word, people and their meanings are sometimes misinterpreted.
I worry about future generations and their apparent addiction to electronic media on specifically that account.If this form of communication takes over, will they even get enough in-person socialization to subconsciously teach them those cues?
Is the future of human communication going to be as automatons, void of expressions and social cues, robotic in nature?
.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - babushka - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 01:03 PM)Ninurta Wrote: My well-being depends solely on rum. Well, a couple of daily chemicals to keep my heart ticking along in 3/4 time and to keep me from stroking out, but mostly it depends on the rum.
What you say here is absolutely true:
Quote:This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
People don't realize on how much true communication depends upon "body language" - stance, relaxation or tension, facial expression and more - all of it adds to and enriches communication. It gives nuances of meaning to the mere spoken word... and it is precisely what is missing from written, online communications. Without those ancillary indicators enriching the written word, people and their meanings are sometimes misinterpreted.
I worry about future generations and their apparent addiction to electronic media on specifically that account.If this form of communication takes over, will they even get enough in-person socialization to subconsciously teach them those cues?
Is the future of human communication going to be as automatons, void of expressions and social cues, robotic in nature?
.
something I did notice is that people who communicate allot online seems to forget body language and all the other nuanced things we do does exist in communication and they are unable to deal with confrontation in real life.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - quintessentone - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 01:13 PM)babushka Wrote:(02-26-2026, 01:03 PM)Ninurta Wrote: My well-being depends solely on rum. Well, a couple of daily chemicals to keep my heart ticking along in 3/4 time and to keep me from stroking out, but mostly it depends on the rum.
What you say here is absolutely true:
Quote:This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
People don't realize on how much true communication depends upon "body language" - stance, relaxation or tension, facial expression and more - all of it adds to and enriches communication. It gives nuances of meaning to the mere spoken word... and it is precisely what is missing from written, online communications. Without those ancillary indicators enriching the written word, people and their meanings are sometimes misinterpreted.
I worry about future generations and their apparent addiction to electronic media on specifically that account.If this form of communication takes over, will they even get enough in-person socialization to subconsciously teach them those cues?
Is the future of human communication going to be as automatons, void of expressions and social cues, robotic in nature?
.
something I did notice is that people who communicate allot online seems to forget body language and all the other nuanced things we do does exist in communication and they are unable to deal with confrontation in real life.
Or, alternatively, unwilling to deal with certain types of confrontation in life just by being tired of all the stress and drama, or knowing ahead of time, through life's experience, what the particular type of confrontation's ending will in all probability end up being. That too could contribute to forgetting to notice nuances within digital communication or not bothering to make oneself more aware of writing style and/or subtle changes in the delivery.
(02-26-2026, 01:03 PM)Ninurta Wrote: My well-being depends solely on rum. Well, a couple of daily chemicals to keep my heart ticking along in 3/4 time and to keep me from stroking out, but mostly it depends on the rum.
What you say here is absolutely true:
Quote:This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
People don't realize on how much true communication depends upon "body language" - stance, relaxation or tension, facial expression and more - all of it adds to and enriches communication. It gives nuances of meaning to the mere spoken word... and it is precisely what is missing from written, online communications. Without those ancillary indicators enriching the written word, people and their meanings are sometimes misinterpreted.
I worry about future generations and their apparent addiction to electronic media on specifically that account.If this form of communication takes over, will they even get enough in-person socialization to subconsciously teach them those cues?
Is the future of human communication going to be as automatons, void of expressions and social cues, robotic in nature?
.
My poison is wine, well wine mixed with whatever I have on hand, to make a sort of sangria-type elixir. No other drugs are involved.
I can't answer any of those future automaton questions but my millennial daughter says she welcomes her LLM robotic overlords because they can't be any worse than what is in place now.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - putnam6 - 02-26-2026
So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains
That we never even know we have the key...
Blaming "our over-lords" because of how one feels personally is just denying one's complete
and absolute personal responsibility.
Not a fan of the attitude
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Chiefsmom - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 01:03 PM)Ninurta Wrote: My well-being depends solely on rum. Well, a couple of daily chemicals to keep my heart ticking along in 3/4 time and to keep me from stroking out, but mostly it depends on the rum.I can't remember where I read it recently, but they are already having problems with teens and some young adults not being able to understand facial cues or body language.
What you say here is absolutely true:
Quote:This form of digital communication makes it doubly difficult to get one's message or context or intent across in the exact way they meant it without typing a long wall of explanatory text.
People don't realize on how much true communication depends upon "body language" - stance, relaxation or tension, facial expression and more - all of it adds to and enriches communication. It gives nuances of meaning to the mere spoken word... and it is precisely what is missing from written, online communications. Without those ancillary indicators enriching the written word, people and their meanings are sometimes misinterpreted.
I worry about future generations and their apparent addiction to electronic media on specifically that account.If this form of communication takes over, will they even get enough in-person socialization to subconsciously teach them those cues?
Is the future of human communication going to be as automatons, void of expressions and social cues, robotic in nature?
.
If I am unclear about what context someone is typing online, I do try to ask them. I also think it is different when someone has been around for a while, and you can read their "style" of writing, to get a better feel than of someone that posts one line and that's it. At least I tend to judge by that. Right or wrong I guess.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Ninurta - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 01:20 PM)quintessentone Wrote: My poison is wine, well wine mixed with whatever I have on hand, to make a sort of sangria-type elixir. No other drugs are involved.
I can't answer any of those future automaton questions but my millennial daughter says she welcomes her LLM robotic overlords because they can't be any worse than what is in place now.
Well, the rum is in moderation, just enough to keep my innards sterile, but not enough to make me walk or talk funny. That much might interfere with the chemical life support thingies.
The chemical life support thingies are by prescription, and will likely be a part of my daily routine for the rest of my days. I was told young that I'd end my days with a bad ticker and a bad back, but I laughed and told them I probably wouldn't live long enough for that... yet here I am. So, I lived my life rough, skidding into Home Plate whenever necessary, and somehow managed to survive it anyhow... but was left with a lifetime of memories to wander through in my old age, so that's a plus.
My son is trying to wean my grand kids off of their electronic masters, and until recently met with limited success. Recently, the oldest grandson has expressed more interest in getting out into the real world and interacting with it, so there may be some hope. They live in a 45 acre patch of forest, with several thousand acres of forest beyond what he owns, and the boy has started expressing a curiosity about the nature around him The oldest grand daughter has discovered boys. I'm waiting to see how that effects her electronic interactions, and whether it leads to more real-world face time.
Some times, biology just takes over, you know? I dread telling my son what it means when she starts getting rebellious. Maybe I won't tell him at all - sometimes, learning things for ourselves is the best way of hammering the lessons home.
The electronic aether, I believe, can augment and enhance our understanding of nature if used in moderation and properly. I kind of wish I'd had it when I was a kid to answer questions that the forests provided me. But then would I myself have become an addict to the electrons?
That's one thing we'll never know for sure, and maybe I should be thankful for that, too.
.
.
.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Ninurta - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 04:17 PM)putnam6 Wrote: So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains
That we never even know we have the key...
Blaming "our over-lords" because of how one feels personally is just denying one's complete
and absolute personal responsibility.
Not a fan of the attitude
Generally speaking, I control my own "feelings", and hold no one else responsible for how I feel at any particular time. I learned long ago that it is a dangerous thing to give someone else that much control over yourself. After a while, one begins to wonder how much of "you" is really you, and how much is what has been installed by someone else, maybe "someone else" that you may not want installing malware into your own psyche.
.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Ninurta - 02-26-2026
(02-26-2026, 04:33 PM)Chiefsmom Wrote: I can't remember where I read it recently, but they are already having problems with teens and some young adults not being able to understand facial cues or body language.
If I am unclear about what context someone is typing online, I do try to ask them. I also think it is different when someone has been around for a while, and you can read their "style" of writing, to get a better feel than of someone that posts one line and that's it. At least I tend to judge by that. Right or wrong I guess.
I read the same thing, and think it had a lot to do with the lack of very young socialization during the covid lockdowns. I wonder if only a couple of years of isolation like that could really have that disproportionate of an effect, but then I consider that, at 5 years old, 2 years of isolation amounts to 40% of your entire life, so there could be something to it. That would equate to, at say 60 years, a 24 year period of isolation, which I'm sure would have an effect on a person.
Folks may, paradoxically, be able to understand me better online than they would be able to in person. In the real world, I have a really thick hillbilly accent which some find difficult to comprehend, but which has stood me in good stead over the years by causing outsiders to underestimate my mental capacity because of the stereotypes they hold concerning hill folk and "rednecks". It has led to some... amusing... moments.
If you SAW me in the real world, you might run the other way before I even got to open my mouth. I'm 6' 2" tall Sort of on the skinny side, with long gray hair half way down my back and a long gray beard that reaches to my belt buckle That some times gets troublesome fastening my pants if I don't recall to first throw it over my shoulder to get it out of the way. I've not always looked this way, but since retirement I find I have no one to impress any more, so I do me, and they can do them.
So, your first impression might be "lookit that crazy old hermit! Don't get too close kids - he might be dangerous!" Even some other hillbillies have that reaction, unless they know me now, or knew me years ago before I left here for the flatlands and returned after 30 years of experiences out there.
My point here is that appearances and nuances of body language are important, but the words are ALSO important - they tend to work together to form a more complete picture that neither, by themselves, can fully articulate.
A secondary point is that one has to get beneath the skin to ever truly understand a real live human being. Lots of folks are unwilling to invest that kind of time, and I think it may be getting worse in the digital age.
.
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - The Crying Bunny - 02-27-2026
You must develop the ability to be disliked in order to free yourself from the prison of other people's opinions.
-Internet
RE: My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all' - Freija - 02-27-2026
It is one thing to develop the ability to be disliked and yet another to go out of your way to cultivate the dislike of others to feel better about yourself or be more free for allegedly not caring. That seems rather disturbed?
(Yesterday, 12:07 AM)The Crying Bunny Wrote: And I'll vote for Trump a 4th time, just to piss people off.