The 'Weirder' Side Of News!

[BIAD]

Possibly the weirdest headline about a major-party candidate the AP has ever run:

Therefore he never whispered to himself "Sofa, so good"?

I'll get my coat.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

This is no way to do your own colonoscopy.

Vietnamese doctors removed a live 2-foot-long eel from a man’s abdomen — that had chewed through his intestines after he shoved it up his anus.

The nauseating discovery was made when a 31-year-old Indian national was admitted to Viet Duc Hospital in Hanoi on July 27 with excruciating abdominal pain, according to Vietnam News.

Doctors learned that the adventurous patient had slipped the phallic fish up his backside earlier in the day — and it tried to escape.

“The eel had bitten through the patient’s rectum and colon to escape into the abdominal cavity,” said Le Nhat Huy, vice director of the Department of Colorectal and Perineal Surgery.

The patient was immediately examined and underwent several imaging tests, including an X-ray that showed the eel’s skeleton lying inside his abdominal cavity. 

Doctors attempted to remove the foreign object through the man’s anus — but they discovered a large lime that he had also inserted blocking the way.

Instead, doctors opted for an emergency surgery.

They sliced open the the patient’s torso and found the live eel, stretching more than 25 inches long and roughly 4 inches in diameter.

The creature and the lime were both removed.



After checking for any additional foreign objects hiding inside the man, they stitched him up. Surgeons also performed a colostomy to prevent fecal matter from passing through the cut made by the eel’s bite.

Doctors at the hospital told Vietnam News that they’ve dealt with patients, typically young men, who have put objects up their bums for sexual pleasure.

Viet Duc Hospital has previously removed bottles, cups and adult toys from patients’ anuses— but this is the first case involving a live animal.

“Eels can survive in anaerobic conditions for a long time and have the ability to bite through the gastrointestinal tract,” Huy warned.

“Therefore, people should never insert live animals through the anus to seek intense sensations due to the unforeseeable consequences.”

This, however, was not the first time an eel was removed from someone’s backside in Vietnam this year.

In March, a 12-inch eel slid up a 43-year-old man’s anus. He was rushed to the Hai Ha District Medical Center in Quang Ninh Province, where the sea creature was removed.

NY Post


When the eel's in your butt and then chews through your gut, that's a moray.

[BIAD]

When the eel's in your butt and then chews through your gut, that's a moray. 

I have to and it deserves it...!!

[Ninurta]

...

NY Post


When the eel's in your butt and then chews through your gut, that's a moray. 

Holy crap! I'd have let him just die an agonizing death. Actions have consequences. The fact that they didn't just let him die shows that Darwin is no longer in control of human development. Saving the lives of folks like this, folks who are too dumb to live, is why the collective IQ of humanity is steadily dropping. Long ago, he would have just died and that would have been that... but now, we rush in to save his life so that he can pass on his defective genes that will drop the collective human IQ even further.

Humanity is headed into the movie "Idiocracy", and no one will save us. We will eventually go extinct as the entire race becomes too dumb to live.

.All through human development, from homo antecessor through homo sapiens, brain size developed in an upward trend. About 5000 years ago, however, brain size started decreasing again - just about the time "civilization" took hold. There was a study done on it that concluded civilization meant people no longer had to do everything for themselves as generalists, and could concentrate on specialization, and that took less brain horsepower, so they concluded that is why human brains started shrinking again.

I don't know whether that's correct or not, but things like this are the inevitable result of humanity's slow but constant cognitive decline as a species. It's only gonna get worse if we keep saving dumbasses from their own dumbassery..

Welcome to Idiocracy, where populations will slowly decline until the species pops out of existence. The last man standing will one day shout "hey y'all, watch THIS!" but there will be no one left to hear, nor anyone left to watch the last human's leap into his inevitable oblivion.

At least that means that no one will be left to save him, either. Nature will have finally corrected itself when that day arrives. As an old friend who is now long dead once told me, "in the end, the wild will win."


.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

HMS Das Booty mile deep club?

The captain of an ultra-elite UK nuclear sub armed with doomsday weapons filmed a sex tape with an underling while at sea, officials say.

The officer was in charge of the $5 billion Vanguard-class submarine — which carries Trident Two nuclear arms — when he took the X-rated video of himself and the junior sailor, the Sun reported.

The unnamed captain, who once met Princess Anne, moved on to a desk job — but eventually doomed himself by allegedly sharing the X-rated selfies, which higher-ups caught wind of, the outlet reported.

Crewmates then corroborated the seamy at-sea shenanigans, it said.

The officer, one of the youngest to captain a nuclear-powered sub, was suspended and soon after sacked under the navy’s “zero tolerance policy” for inappropriate behavior.

The scandal comes as the UK’s navy suffers a shortage of submarine staff, according to the outlet.

The Royal Navy has four nuclear-armed submarine classes: Vanguard, Vengeance, Victorious and Vigilant — and always has a vessel at sea in case of a nuclear attack.

In a statement, the Royal Navy told the Sun, “All forms of unacceptable behavior are taken extremely seriously and anything which falls short of the highest standards will not be tolerated.

“Anyone who is found culpable will be held accountable for their actions, regardless of their rank or status,” it added.

NY Post

[BIAD]

It can be officially stated now that Man knows no bounds to acquire money!!

Guy dressed in a bear costume faked attacks on cars in wild insurance scam

A group of four people were arrested and charged with insurance fraud after claiming  a bear
entered and damaged luxury cars. But the 'bear' was actually a person in a costume

'A person dressed as a bear faked attacks on cars to claim the insurance.


The 'Bear'.

Now four people have now been arrested and charged with insurance fraud after claiming
their cars were trashed by the "creature". When the claimants in Southern California provided
a video of the "animal" in action, insurers smelt something fishy, and it wasn't the bear's
breakfast.

They suspected that the bear wasn't a creature at all, it was a person in a costume doing all the
damage, according to officials on Wednesday (November 13). The insurers even summoned a
wildlife expert to confirm their suspicions.

A 2010 Rolls-Royce Ghost was allegedly ravaged on January 8 while it was parked at Lake
Arrowhead in the San Bernardino Mountains northeast of Los Angeles, the California
Department of Insurance said.

The group tried to pull the wool over the eyes of the insurance firm with video evidence
purportedly displaying the creature breaking into the luxury car. However, eagle-eyed
investigators spotted the faux-paw upon closer examination of the footage.

"Upon further scrutiny of the video, the investigation determined the bear was actually a
person in a bear costume," the department disclosed.

The brazen claimants also attempted to dupe for damages to two more high-end vehicles a
2015 Mercedes G63 AMG and a 2022 Mercedes E350 furnishing yet more videos featuring
the furry marauder, the Insurance Department revealed.

Ruben Tamrazian, 26; Ararat Chirkinian, 39; Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32, all hailing from Glendale,
and Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, of Valley Village were detained facing accusations of insurance fraud
and conspiracy, according to the department.


Scratches.

A spokesperson for the San Bernardino County District Attorney’s Office said that charges have
been submitted against the four people arrested and that the cases are under review for a
decision on charges. The scam cost insurance companies £112,036 ($141,839), the department
said.

Authorities discovered a bear costume, complete with brown fur, a bear-like head, paws and
metal hand tools designed to mimic claw marks, in the suspects' residence. Footage of the
supposed damage revealed minor groove marks on the vehicle's seats and interior, which
were purportedly meant to resemble bear claw marks...'

Archived Daily Star Article:

[EndtheMadnessNow]

What do you fry your brain with to get to this level?  

Two women have been jailed after uploading hundreds of images and videos of monkeys being tortured to online group chats.

Holly LeGresley, of Baldwin Road, Kidderminster and a second defendant, Adriana Orme, 55, of The Beeches, Ryall, near Upton-upon-Severn were both found to have encouraged and assisted others in torturing monkeys online.

Passing sentence, Judge James Burbidge KC said Dutch-born Orme and LeGresley, had joined online chat groups which encouraged torture of monkeys by offenders based in Indonesia.

he judge, who said he had been left “almost in disbelief” by the evidence in the case, told the defendants: “Quite what led you two women of good character and, I am satisfied, some intelligence, to engage in such a forum is beyond comprehension by any right-thinking member of society.”

The court had heard both women shared footage of the animals being tortured. It has been clarified that the women did not carry out monkey torture themselves.

LeGresley has been jailed for two years and Orme has been sentenced to 15 months.

Messages sent from Holly's pseudonym online indicated she was aware of the risk.

She had even created rules, demanding new members had to upload a 'rat torture video' to be accepted into the online group.

LeGresley admitted to uploading images of monkey torture between March 25 and May 8 2022, and made a £17.24 payment to a PayPal account to encourage cruelty on April 25 of the same year.

West Mercia Police charged LeGresley after being informed by the national wildlife crime unit, the court heard.

"The suffering the animals endured is sickening"

Detective Chief Inspector Ben Arrowsmith, who led the investigation for West Mercia Police, said: “This is without doubt one of the most disturbing cases that my team and I have ever worked on.

“The hatred and deviant fascination the defendants have shown in relation to the cruelty and abuse towards monkeys is incomprehensible.

"The suffering the animals endured is sickening and sadistic; it’s impossible to comprehend how anyone could find it enjoyable to watch and be part of.

“This is the first time in British legal history that charges relating to animal cruelty have been brought under the Serious Crime Act 2007 for cruelty that took place abroad, but where the offenders are in the UK, making this a landmark case.

“I’m pleased that Le Gresley and Orme will now face justice for their part in this abhorrent and vile cruelty.

Chief Inspector Kevin Lacks-Kelly, Head of the National Wildlife Crime Unit, added: “Today we have taken another step forward in a large scale and ongoing transnational investigation into the worst cruelty I have ever seen.

“LeGresley and Orme acted as more than mere participants in this complex web of unjustifiable torture. They hid behind a veil of secrecy on the internet, assuming that their participation in crimes overseas would not bring the police to their doors in the UK.

“Most investigations where a wild animal has been taken for human use revolve around money. However, this investigation has identified the group were not motivated by finances, instead they were motivated by inflicting as much suffering as possible to these defenceless animals.

“Let this serve as a reminder that wildlife crime exists today in many forms. The NWCU has the expertise, resources, and co-ordination skills to work with UK and international enforcers to bring cases like this to justice.”

ITV News

[Bally002]

@"EndtheMadnessNow"#18 

"Good Grief."

I can't get an 'even' thought about this monkey business.

What's this all about?

I'm at a bit of a loss.  I'll chew on a celery stick and mull this over if that makes better sense.

My regards,

Bally??????? (WTF!!!!)

[F2d5thCav]

Sick.  Poor beasts.  Their lives are hard enough without human cruelty being forced upon them.

smh

--Cav

[727Sky]

Something to consider; these demented idiots would do the same thing to a human if they thought they could make money and get away with the crimes..... although if one looks at history it is done to humans for religious hate purposes or because someone pissed TPTB off..

[BIAD]

Wasn't there a movie in a similar vein as this tragedy?

Raging 'swarm' of 20 monkeys attack and kill man as he screamed for help in Indian village

'A raging swarm of 20 monkeys attacked and killed a man as he screamed for help in an Indian village.
Ramnath Chaudhary, a retired clerk of the local sugar mill, was ambushed to death when he was collecting
fodder for his cattle in the Madhubani district of Bihar - a state of eastern India, south of Nepal.

The incident has caused immense panic among the local residents in the Shahpur village. On Sunday,
Chaudhary, 67, arrived to his farm to collect fodder when a group of 20 monkeys attacked him.
He fell over, screaming for help, but nobody was in the immediate area.

By the time some of the villagers had rushed over to him, the former clerk was badly injured.  His family
and neighbours quickly took him to Madhubani Sadar Hospital, where doctors declared him dead on arrival.
Police have been alerted to the incident and are demanding the forest department capture the monkeys to
prevent further tragedies.

While the animals have caused havoc in the village in recent months - such as biting people and damaging
household goods - this is reportedly the first time they have killed a person. An officer from Pandaul police
station said: 'We have requested the forest department officials to take steps to resolve the issue.


Police officials stand guard near the site of the deadly stampede at the Mansa Devi temple in Haridwar.

The monkeys could be caught and released elsewhere. We have also asked the local people to stay alert and
keep away from the simians.' But the local forest officer, Bhaskar Chandra Bharti, said that monkeys no longer
came under the jurisdiction of the environment and forests department after they were removed from the list of
protected animals, reported ETV Bharat. Instead, control of the animals is the responsibility of the local police,
he claimed. 

'We got information about the tragic death of a man in an attack by monkeys,' Bharti said.
'It is the responsibility of the local bodies or municipalities to check them. However, we have asked our personnel
to visit the place of occurrence and take stock of the situation. We will provide technical help and expertise,
if asked,' Bharti said.

In July, at least two people were killed in a stampede triggered after monkeys caused crowds to panic by jumping
on and breaking a live wire outside a temple in India's northern state of Uttar Pradesh. The group of monkeys jumped
onto an electric wire outside the Ausaneshwar Mahadev Temple in the Barabanki region, causing it to snap and
fall on a shed, triggering panic among worshippers who tried to flee the area. Nineteen people were electrocuted,
while more than two dozen others were injured in the ensuring stampede-like incident.

Accidents involving large crowds are not uncommon at religious gatherings in India, and are often blamed on poor
crowd management. At least 30 people were killed in a pre-dawn crowd crush at the Maha Kumbh (Great Pitcher)
festival in Uttar Pradesh's Prayagraj in January, as tens of millions gathered to take a dip in sacred river waters on
its most auspicious day...'

Archived Daily Mail Article:

[Michigan Swamp Buck]

Because of all the posts in this thread, I never bothered. For some reason, I took a look today and caught the 2ft eel story. 

Back in the 80s, I had trouble believing that there was a homosexual fetish known as gerbilling, but after a number of verified stories, I had to believe that they would do such a filthy and dangerous act, and killing gerbils for gay pleasure put it over the top for me.

I know that taking the ole dusty trail isn't just a gay thing, but damn it, don't go driving the wrong way on a one-way street. You can die from doing that. Plus, it is so filthy that it is asking for all kinds of dangerous infections, as the intestinal walls are thin and full of blood vessels.

[BIAD]

A strange tale as it stands, but the article hilariously explains to the reader where the migrant
can be spotted in the image! Luckily, I am not four years-old.

Migrant on the run found hiding in nativity scene

'A migrant on the run from police tried to evade recapture by hiding in a Christmas nativity
scene in Italy, apparently pretending to be one of the Three Wise Men.

The 38-year-old migrant from Ghana was on the run from a conviction for assault and resisting
arrest. He had been sentenced to nine months and 15 days in prison by a court in Bologna but
then managed to evade the authorities and ended up in the small town of Galatone in the
southern region of Puglia.

The fugitive’s ruse was rumbled when the mayor, who happened to be walking by, noticed a
flicker of movement in the festive tableau, which has pride of place in the town in a square
called Piazza Crocifisso (the Crucifix Piazza).


You have a few seconds before we'll tell you the answer.

Photographs show him lurking at the back of the nativity scene with his arms held out, as if
he is trying to mimic one of the life-size statues that made up the diorama. He is standing
amid bales of straw and amphorae, to the right of Joseph and Mary, who are beside the crib
where a model of baby Jesus will be placed on Christmas Day.

Mayor Flavio Filoni said: “While I was walking past the nativity scene, which was set up by our
tourism office, I noticed a figure which I initially thought was part of the scene. “But then, out of
the corner of my eye, I saw the figure moving.

The migrant, who has not been named, was “in a state of difficulty”, said the mayor, who called
the police. They arrested him and remanded him in custody in a prison in the nearby city of Lecce,
where he will serve out his sentence.

“Thanks to the swift intervention of our local police, the state police and the Carabinieri, it was
possible to identify this person, who it turned out was a wanted fugitive,” the mayor wrote in a
Facebook post. “A big thank you to all the men and women who uphold our security with
competence and dedication.”

The tradition of setting up nativity scenes is a cause dear to Giorgia Meloni, Italy’s prime minister.
In a social media video a few years ago, she railed against suggestions that nativity scenes and
other Christian traditions at Christmas should be considered in any way offensive to people of
other religions. “Our identity and our traditions are under attack,” said Ms Meloni in the message.

She urged Italians to make sure they taught their children about the tradition of nativity figures,
which are a prominent part of Italy’s Christmas traditions and in Italian are known as “presepi”...'

Archived Telegraph Article: